My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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