We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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