You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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