What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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