no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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