he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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