Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
