My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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