You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I want is dick and wine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
