i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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