Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
