The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
