No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
