all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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