i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
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I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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