yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
