..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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