maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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