Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
