Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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