That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
