I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i will never coherently bang her
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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