Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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