i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He keeps bees of course he's weird
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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