She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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