pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize