My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
