this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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