he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
