billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
