all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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