so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
