He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
