still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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