Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
