I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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