I wanna bring you to show and tell
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
