Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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