I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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