I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I love you.
Bad choice
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