saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize