Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
