My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
