I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
