I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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