I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
