i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
