i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
