Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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