why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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