Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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