lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Pants 0. Shit 1.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
