if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
