Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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