did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
