D3 body, D1 cock
That's intense
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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