I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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