So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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