Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
