How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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