My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
