how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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