need another drink. this is the easiest way
The beer is more important than you right now.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
