i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
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We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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