This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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