shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
