i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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